In a world where everybody experiences a heavy dose of social influence on a daily basis, it’s hard to even define what it means to know oneself. I would imagine that knowing me would have something to do with judging my persona in an unbiased manner and knowing exactly what I search for in life. But it’s difficult to do that because I, along with probably everybody else, have some sort of delusion about myself, even if it is only to a minor extent. In Layman’s terms, I have a better opinion about myself than what the truth reveals, but that’s natural. And because I have that loftier opinion about myself, I could have difficulty in my search for true happiness. In fact, I think that the most important benefit of truly knowing oneself would be being able to make decisions in life based on what really matters to that person. Whether it’s in school, on Facebook, or on the Iowa Caucuses flickering on CNN a few feet away from me, society has made it pretty obvious that a lot of people actually have no idea about what’s good for them. It’s a shame, because if people actually knew themselves and what their real goal in life was, their life and the life of those around them would be much easier.
I’ve gradually noticed that my greatest weakness is my tendency to over-dramatize a lot of aspects and events in my life, especially during these recent years in high school. I try to take it easy more often, but I find some kind of strange enjoyment in making a big deal out of a lot of situations that don’t deserve to be. I’m not really sure why. It’s nothing out of control or over the top (I don’t pretend my life is some sort of play or reality show) but I do like stressing the importance of certain parts of life more than is necessary. Then again, I surely can’t be the only one who does that. The most unfortunate result of dramatizing would be that everything became very important in some artificial way and what really does matter gets lost in that sea of dramatic confusion. That goes back to where knowing oneself is determined by what path you ultimately take in life. If everything is considered of the utmost importance, than the truly significant parts of life get degraded. Although, I am glad that recently, especially as a senior, I’ve come to accept that life doesn’t always go my way and the best thing to do is just accept it. I can’t sweat the small stuff. I hope this realization of mine carries into college and permanently replaces my previous tendencies of over-dramatization.
I can’t really say what my best quality is, but one facet of my personality that I’ve always liked having is my ability to make people, especially my closest friends, feel better. Because I recognize how seriously I sometimes take life I use that knowledge to comfort people who make the same mistake by telling them how things are almost always bound to get better. Just because life is difficult at that moment doesn’t mean that it’s going to suck forever. People that get caught up in what essentially are their delusions lose track of what is ultimately best for their well-being. I think I do a pretty good job at helping people realize those inconsistencies and through that help them off the ground when they slip on any unstable path they might’ve been attempting to get across. I don’t really like being arrogant about it, but the truth is that many of friends have come up to me and thanked me for helping them out and comforting them in their time of need. I always respond with “My pleasure”; even though I know it is a pretty cliché response, I mean it. Nothing makes me happier than to see those closest to me be happy.
I think the main reason it’s so difficult to judge myself like this is because I and people in general really do have some sort of notion where we hold ourselves well above the average. But I think it’s only natural. The human brain may be rigged through the process of natural selection to think in such a way that supplies us with sufficient confidence to survive in our environment. And in the modern environment we dwell in, social superiority is essential. I may find it difficult to express my weaknesses to other people because I don’t want to admit they’re true. On the other hand, I may be uncomfortable conveying my strengths to other people because I don’t want to come across as arrogant. I really think that deep down everybody has a pretty defined sense of self, it’s just the different aspects of it that they choose to share with other people distort that sense of self to a certain extent. Some people’s sense of self gets distorted beyond recognition or repair, and that’s thanks to the enormous amount of social influence that we get bombarded with in almost every waking minute of life.
